I'm sure you have heard by now, but we had an ectopic pregnancy. My fallopian tube was 5x normal size which is why I was in so much intense pain. It was actually the same size as my uterus, if that means anything to you. They got me into surgery as soon as they could to remove the blood and tissue. Thankfully, the hormone level had already dropped significantly, which means they baby was not living, they just had to remove the leftover that wouldn't pass on it's own. That would have been even harder emotionally on me if they had to "abort" the pregnancy.
So, I am recovering. The Lord was so near, I have NEVER felt His peace like I did that day. I told Keith later, I had to face all of my worst fears in pregnancy, but we made it to the other side and God is still so good. I felt His grace and peace like it was something tangible to hold on to. You really can't imagine the grace that comes when you need it. I am so thankful for all of our friends and family who have shown so much love and support.
The saddest part was telling Jace yesterday. We told him that the baby tried to grow in the wrong place and so it died. He cried and said, "I wanted the baby to come on my birthday." (We were due a couple days before his b-day) We all cried, but we have had good talks about how we will ask God to heal mom's body and give us another baby. He said, "I am glad I was in the sac and not the tube." We told him we were so thankful to have him. He said, "Mom, did the devil make the baby stay in the tube?" Wow! What do you say? We said, I don't know maybe or maybe God wanted us to know that He loves us and that we can still know how good He is even when we lose something we really wanted and loved.
Whatever the reason we are committed to standing on God's goodness and love for us. We will choose not to blame or question His goodness. We have hurt and grieved, yes, but oh how real the peace of God can be in this desert place.
Thursday, October 23, 2008
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3 comments:
Beautifully written, AB. I'm so so sorry y'all are going through this right now, but we are praying for you and believing in God's constant goodness. I hope that you are feeling better and pray that God will heal your body perfectly.
With Love & Prayers,
Sarah & Jon
I love you guys! I'm so proud of you and the ways you have always been an example of what it means to love God, to trust him and to receive whatever He has for you with open hands and hearts full of faith.
So I know this is an old post but I just found you all's blog and wanted to say we know some of your pain but God is and will be faithful. We went through eptopic with Jon and Ashley McPherson in the middle of our miscarriages so I remember the extreme pain she was in. Hold fast though - they now have a fully healthy girl! Praying for full restoration!
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